I am just a waffle: An ode to food neutrality

I am just a waffle.  I am golden-yellow, crunchy on the outside, and soft and fluffy on the inside.  My pieces de resistance are my many little squares; each mini square acts as a reservoir for delicious toppings.  I am often paired with butter and maple syrup, but a shake of powdered sugar can be sprinkled atop like a dusting of snow on a cold winter eve. Sometimes I serve as a bed for a blanket of strawberries and whip cream, bananas or other delectable treats.

Often on a Sunday morning I find myself sitting on a buffet surrounded by a host of breakfast choices that fill the room with a symphony of smell.   My regular neighbors stand to be the scrambled egg, sizzling sausages, hash browns, bacon and, of course, my biggest nemeses, those sneaky stacks of waffle-wanna-be’s: the pancakes.  They pose as if to be a class of their own with their round girths and smooth tops, but add some butter and syrup and they are suddenly dressed up like me and teasing the hungry eyes of all who feast upon us. 

We regulars in the ‘hood, under the warming lights, may also share our top notch real estate with French toast, quiche, ham or a sliced prime rib.  Around the corner sit the breads: muffins, bagels, pastries or toast.  They, too, compete amongst one another and often find themselves in a tussle, flung aside behind the toaster with crumbs and butter wrappers.

I would be remiss if I forgot to introduce the cereals, yogurts, fruit and oatmeal.  They are often a party of their own adorned most beautifully by the clear container of iridescent Fruit Loops.

Rumor has it that I have been known to cause an inner struggle to many a’ nosher.  I have heard that I have been maligned to the tune of being “bad”, fattening or too carby.  Word on the street is that the oatmeal, yogurt or fruit have won many an internal battle despite my alluring crunch and fluff.

Friends, I am just a waffle; I bare no malice or judgment. I am here to please you in the morning and/or at other times of the day. I am here for sustenance, joy and comfort.  What I am not is 'bad', for food is not 'bad'.  Food is food.   I believe that we are all created equal; we are worthy of love and joy and not shame or disdain. 

If you crave a glorious bowl of yogurt with heaping spoonfuls of blueberries and sweet crunchy granola, by all means go for it. If your mouth is watering for a fresh bagel with a shmear of  Philadelphia’s best cream cheese, please indulge.  And, even if you must grab that pesky stack of pancakes, have at it; I may throw you a side eye, but I own that and am addressing it in therapy.

I cringe to think that in this big beautiful world where so many of us are privileged enough to enjoy such bounty that we put worth on food.  It is bad enough that there is so much judgment both inwardly and toward one another causing such strife and malice. Can’t we just let go long enough to enjoy the sanctity of a nice, moderate and balanced meal without throwing shade on those of us with a little higher carb content? I mean, in the end, I’m still just a waffle.