Talk Therapy-More Than Just the Talk
6/27/2019
I sat quietly while my young client composed a letter to one of her guardians. She wasn’t sure how to express certain emotions to him directly so I suggested she try to write it out. We brainstormed a little together as she listed several bullet points that she wanted to include in the letter and then she began writing. I sat in my ‘therapist chair’ and let her write. A few times she asked about spelling, but mostly she sat for several minutes and wrote.
I have spent many hours in session with my clients doing things other than talking. Young children, especially, need diversion from staring at me while I try to assess their mental health. I have toys, coloring books, art supplies and games in my office. As a young therapist, I was confused about how playing a game of checkers could be therapeutic. A wise mentor taught me that we can learn so much about a person by how he operates in the world. Can he take turns? How does she do with winning? Losing? Does he play fair? Does she get angry and toss the board over? In playing the game, my goal is to explore with the client what is triggering his maladaptive behaviors and see if, by talking it through, he can learn to be more mindful about his choices when he is losing a game to a peer in his real world.
Coloring is a wonderful activity that coincides with talking. Sometimes I will suggest a directive like “draw your family eating dinner”, and sometimes it is free flow coloring as we discuss difficult feelings. Often, I will color as well, to join with the client (and avoid from feeling like I am staring at them), but my doodles are barely intelligible because, of course, I am tracking the client and his emotional lability rather than creating an artistic masterpiece. (One very savvy teen insisted that we play chess week after week. I told her that I could barely manage chess using all of my faculties, certainly not while facilitating a therapy session. Needless to say, she beat me ever time!)
I have also worked with older teens on college essays,
home-school assignments and resume’s . I was hesitant at first to spend valuable therapy time on a task that should be easily completed at home. But, with these anxious kids, this was the best way to practice these challenging life skills in a safe environment. I had a great rapport with each of these clients, so they trusted me to hear their work and gently guide them. I am also NOT their parent. Each of these projects could have devolved into angry yelling matches with a parent, but within the therapy session, it was calm, productive, and, by golly, completed! (Providing a most pleasurable relief to each parent who could then avoid the messiness at home).
The therapeutic relationship is most crucial in the therapy session. The success of these less-verbal activities only occurs when a good rapport has been established; both young and older kids learn that they can trust me to show their true selves be it feeling under confident while drawing or sharing their most personal selves in their writing